Thursday, 13 May 2010

Prostitution

As I remake myself in 2010, I am left answering a simple question; "How do you want to be remembered by your family?" A few weeks ago, this question would have included the word 'friends'. One of the primary 'friends' on this journey, has been my work. She has whispered sweet nothings in my ear, I have maintained this relationship with her, even at points that were a detriment to my family's health. Many times I have found myself in the corrupted foulness of this relationship, bearing no fruit except the genuine sneer of disdain and congenital wickedness. That's a heavy line that simply says, "Work has not really been my friend."

There's a chapter in Proverbs 7:10-18 that seems very appropriate, "Then came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. (She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home; now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.) She took hold of him and kissed and with brazen face she said; "I have fellowship offerings at home; today I fulfilled my vows. So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. Come, let's drink deep of love till morning; let's enjoy ourselves with love!"

I have ended 2009 on vacation, bringing to a close what is in many ways a banner year by professional account. During this respite; I have come to one simple conclusion, "I've given up a lot to get here." Surveying my land from this professional mountain top, I look down into the valleys I have traversed and see the billowing smoke of forest fires left in my wake. It has become clear that the work world expects nothing less than a pound of flesh. In my myopia, I have been only too willing to sit with a knife and cut myself, presenting my body ounce by ounce to fill its supply. This prostitute has had me bleeding slowly.

I am not a big believer in New Years resolutions. Actually let me rephrase that, I did make one resolution in 1990 that I kept for a year. I am declaring in loud voice though that I am making one major resolution; "I will treat my work, like it has treated me!"

I have courted her (work) delicately, invested large amounts of time and money into her well being, ignored my family and sometimes gone without food to please her; I have found myself gaining huge rewards. New titles, increased pay, recognition, awards and promises of brighter tomorrows. Yet as 2011 looms, this hollow sound pings off the walls of my heart, it's the emptiness that comes from shallow living. Much like others, it is not that I am doing anything that is not expected of a go-getter in America. If you want anything in this country, you have to be willing to work for it. No, what is currently irking me is the unsaid cost of professional gain.

Executive ladders treat personal lives with a certain disdain. Though there is outward encouragement to live life complete and fulfilled; the constant ladling of projects and expectations increases your time commitment. You lose much of your personal time in an effort to achieve goals. The prostitute, becomes the mocker. Challenging you to manage the time and juggle life. She will never mellow, nor will she be calm. She is a time devouring machine. She wants nothing else but to ingest as much as she can of you and spit out what is not of value to her enterprise.

I feel now, like a sinner at confession. "Bless me Father for I have sinned........" I am re-discovering the true value of family. They of the; "What can we do for you?" clan. Constant cheerleaders, single minded objectivity, only looking out for your best. Standing where others fell, throwing life lines where others throw stones, coming out in the cold, when others won't answer the phone.


I resolve not to be sick at home and healthy at work, I'm going to treat this prostitute the same way she has treated me;

1. I will get the most I can from her while doing the least I can to make her happy.
2. I will give her a time limit and make her pay for any time added for services
rendered.
3. There are some things that I will absolutely not do regardless of the monetary
possibilities.
4. If she wants me to perform special services, she will have to provide special
services herself.
5. I will not be at her beck and call. Time off, is time off
6. I will not allow her children to act like they belong to me nor will I feel
compelled to support them.
7. I will see the honey dripping from her lips as the venom of a viper and watch her
mouth as it wields its teeth.
8. I will always use protection.
9. I will see her only as a means to achieve my own means and not allow her to bend
any of my rules without consequences.
10.She will need to go through my pimp to get to me.

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